Morris Family in Mexico: Tough Decisions Due to Covid

We have had a really tough ten days.

On April 16, the Mexican government announced that they would extend their stay-at-home orders until May 30 (originally supposed to be the end of April). Additionally, in our city, face masks are required in public or risk of fine, they closed the walking trails, and there's talk of check points between municipalities to limit people's movements.

Throughout this whole pandemic, the thought of moving back home early has always been in our minds, but it's been our hope that Monterrey would open up in time for us to say a "proper" goodbye. This newest quarantine extension seemed to dash all hopes of that happening. Our contract end date is June 30, so assuming that the stay-at-home orders start to be lifted by June 1, life will still look far from normal at that time. The odds of the kids actually returning to their school building and having a fifth grade graduation are extremely low.

Ben and I spent the day of the government announcement in discussion, prayer and quite frankly for me, in tears. By dinnertime we felt that it was time to discuss the possibly of moving home early with the kids. Their reactions affirmed all that we had been thinking throughout the day: it was time to go. Josh's reply was, "Let's go tomorrow!" Sam thought that the idea of moving in time for them to celebrate their birthday in Oregon sounded wonderful. And always pragmatic Seth said it best of all, "Well, we have to ask ourselves, what do we gain by staying? And what do we gain by leaving?"

The truth is, at this point, we have very little to gain by staying. We are totally isolated and cannot sees friends or attend church or school. We cannot visit the places on our "things to do before we leave" list. We DO have a pool and a very nice apartment. However, in our home in Scappoose, we have our yard, basketball hoop, garden and we'd be closer to family. Also, we'd have the hope of things opening up sooner than Monterrey...which at this point, we could use some hope.

The next day, April 17, which ironically was our THREE YEAR anniversary of moving here, we put into motion what we would need to do to make the move happen. Everything fell into place really well: Ben's boss was okay with him being back in Oregon for his final two months of the contract, we were able to schedule packers for before we were to fly out, we found great plane tickets for April 23. I started to speed pack and we started telling those closest to us that we had decided to leave. It was so hard. I cried and cried and cried. It just feels so wrong to end in this manner. It's absolutely not what we wanted or imagined. But, we really felt at peace with the decision and felt like the Lord was really working out all the details.

April 18 we continued to scramble to get everything ready to move. Ben spent the day emptying out my favorite Mexican pots and cleaning them so they could be ready to pack in the container. Our dear friends, Kenny and Anna, came out in a truck to pick up our ping pong table and bikes to donate to back2back. We had our first "socially distant goodbye" and sat our on patio and introduced the McCambridges to our favorite tacos de trompo, a place we'd always meant to take them to, but never did. At least we got a final taco meal together. They ended up leaving with our patio table, as they had been looking to buy one and we were all too happy to give them ours. Our hearts were full at the end of the night, after actually getting to see friends, but it was also the first of many sad goodbyes.

On April 19, I got go on a beautiful morning hike with my friend Julia. The day couldn't have been better and the view at the end was so amazing. It was a great farewell with her. I then spent way too long composing an email to the school telling them that we had decided to move, and although we hadn't yet made a final decision of whether or not we wanted the boys to continue with school, that they would be taking the week off to enjoy their final moments in Monterrey. We then packed up in our van and drove out of the city for the first time in over a month to visit friends from the boys' school at their rancho. Again, we made sure all activity was outside and we were able to maintain good social distance. We had a carne asada, swam, played soccer and genuinely enjoyed being with other people. We finished the day with saying goodbye to another family dear to our hearts, Martin and Mayra and their 3 boys. It was sad and hard. It felt so wrong to end our time here with one hour goodbyes that don't even end with a hug.

Morning hike

Expansive view of the city

The Saddle

The Mitris was spectacular that morning

The de la Garza's rancho

Coolest picture of Ben ever

Josh loves Dario and Marco

Swimming contest: Seth won!

Carne asada

We will miss our twin friends from AIM!

Adios M family!

Three blonde boys, three brown haired boys, 2 languages, but all buddies

April 20 we went to the boys' school to turn in iPads and get a final picture of them outside the building. It was sad to leave knowing that they left one day like normal and then never got to return. They never got to have a goodbye party, say goodbye to their teachers, and the twins didn't get to run the hallways as graduates and have everyone sign their shirts. We are grieving that we didn't get to end well. The weather was excellent, so we swam in the afternoon. Unfortunately, the frequent swimming caused an ear infection in Josh, and I'm was up with him in the middle of the night...not exactly what I needed with two more days to pack for an international move.

Sunrise

Never have the skies been so clear behind their school; there's considerably less pollution these days

"Catarina" (lady bug in Spanish)...where I picked up the boys each day

April 21 was more packing and more goodbyes. Amanda came by with Harvey for a final play. For half a year now, Amanda and I have been talking about having a final despidida dinner together at Pangea; we had to settle for Pangea take out for lunch. It's better than nothing...we chatted the afternoon away, pretending that a goodbye wasn't imminent. Hugo and Carol and the girls came over in the evening to say goodbye. As they were praying for us (in Spanish), Josh bursted into tears at the end. He could sense the heavy and sad emotions of the situation and it is heartbreaking. We were all crying when they left. Why didn't we ever get to have a "last church service"?

We have been each other's closest confidants and allies during this Covid crisis and I feel so bad leaving her behind in Mexico!

Harvey just loves all the boys, especially Joshy

April 22 was just about the worst day ever. I got up early to say a final goodbye to Amanda and snuggle her sweet baby, Helen a final time. It was the hardest goodbye yet. Then, I gave a final plant to my friend and Spanish teacher, Thelma...another hard goodbye. When I got home, Ben told me that we might not be able to leave the next day. As I said above, our three year anniversary was the 17th, which meant that our visas expired on that day. When Ben talked to his expat advisor on Friday, he was told to not do anything regarding our visas because it didn't matter if they expired. However, Ben was told by our visas lawyers, on the day before we were supposed to leave, that he had to have a special exit permit form filed in order for him to leave, in order to still stay on the Mexican payroll for the final two months. In the midst of that stress, the packers were at our house and we weren't able to fit everything that we wanted to into our container. I literally almost had a panic attack from the stress and emotions of the situation as I was trying to figure out what we should leave behind. The packers left us a huge pile of stuff and two hours later we learned that we could not leave the country the next day as planned. I cannot even describe the letdown. By four that afternoon, I was by the pool with a book, because hustling and packing did not matter anymore. What a shift of emotions and pace in our life. That evening we had another farewell with some school friends, the Vegas. We went to bed knowing that we'll be in Monterrey for at least another week.

I'm so happy to be holding sweet Helen again, but also crying to say goodbye

Adios Vega family

The kids are all so shy, so social distancing was no problem

Lore and I rocking the face masks

April 23, was the day we were supposed to fly out. Ben had cleared his work calendar because we were supposed to be traveling, so he just took the day off. We had the first relaxing day in a week, with lots of swimming and rest. We're trying to trust the Lord and His timing and make the best of being in Monterrey for extra time.

Why play in the pool if you could lay out in the tepid water next to it?

April 24, we went to the immigration office to sign paperwork for our exit permit. When we arrived, we realized that I forgot to bring our pictures and Ben forgot to bring our passports and visas. Therefore, I return to the visa office hours later with all the correct things for the lawyer. I stopped at the store and got some produce, which felt so odd, as we were supposed to not even be in Mexico, but on a plane to Portland. My maid came for the first time in over a month to pick up boxes and bags of things that we were donating to her family and neighborhood people. This was another sad goodbye. In the evening we got our favorite arrecherra tacos and ate by the pool with the Elhbeck family, who were leaving to go to Portland the next day. The kids night swam together and we stayed up late visiting. Again, it was just so nice to just talk with friends.

We're so grateful that we got to live in the same apartment complex with the Ehlbecks!

Night swimming!

They had so much fun!

We got to watch a forest fire high on the mountain while the kids swam; it was fascinating!

April 25 felt like the longest day ever. All we wanted was to be back in Oregon. We were all homesick and felt stuck. At dinner we had this odd deja vu feeling of how our lives here in Monterrey have come full circle. Literally three ago, our lives in our apartment would have looked very much the same: nothing on the walls, no toys, nothing to do, no friends to see. We have five more days of this...and that's assuming that the paperwork gets done in time. Our faith muscles are definitely being stretched; we're weary. We wish we were home.