Earlier this summer, Ben took Seth and Sam each on a two night one-on-one camping trip. Growing up, Ben's dad took each of the boys on an individual trip each summer starting at the age of ten and we were eager to continue the tradition with our boys (even though we had to delay it until they turned 11 because of the complications of living in Mexico). Beyond the obvious purpose of focused time and attention from Ben, this first trip was significant as they discussed "all those questions we put off answering until they were 10." I got a text from Ben less than an hour into his trip with Seth saying, "Well, we already had THE TALK." It was nice to finally have those long overdue conversations with the big boys.
Seth took the first trip with Ben; we felt it was important for him to go first, because otherwise, he tends to make most decisions of "what Sam did." It was nice for Seth to be able to pave his own way. The weekend was pretty chilly, but Ben and Seth had a blast doing all things boy, like playing baseball in the fields at Ben's old school in Dufur, getting milkshakes together, eating junk food while camping, and shooting guns.
About a week and a half after his two night camping trip with Seth, Ben headed out to camp with Sam. (By the way, Ben has been a camping extraordinare this summer: as of the end of August, he has tent camped 16 nights!) I felt bad for Ben going into this trip because his back was really hurting him and he was fighting a sinus infection...but Ben knew how eager Sam was to go on his trip and didn't want to keep him waiting any longer. He's such a great dad.
And, because I never really wrote much of an update about the twins near their eleventh birthday, I do want to take a moment to document a little about them at this stage in life.
Seth is such a sweet and steady boy. He is eager to please, sometimes to a fault, where he doesn't want to state his true desires because he's worried that it will disappoint you. He is a patient and gifted teacher with other kids, especially those younger than him. During Seth's final meeting with his teacher, his teacher raved on and on about how Seth is such a great global citizen and a representative of what it is to be American. Teacher Khaled just loved Seth and his love for learning and big vocabulary. I think that Teacher Khaled's love and frequent praise for Seth really helped build up his confidence in this past year. We love Seth because he is kind, thoughtful, creative, and helpful. Sometimes he can turn serious real quick in situations, but most the time he loves being silly and laughing. He loves to read, play games, play any sport, and write. He is almost always my last son in bed. Living in Mexico was such a great, growing experience for Seth where he really overcame some challenges with anxiety and control and where he really became a better version of himself through stretching situations.
Sam is very talkative and is always asking questions. He is an external processor, so half the time we don't know if he's actually asking us a question or if he's just working out the solution out loud. If he has an idea, he does not hesitate to share it (multiple times) and to push for that idea to come to fruition. He does everything 110%, but often doesn't think before he acts (or speaks). He loves to laugh and is really trying to learn how to be humorous in group settings. Sam's teacher loved having him in class because he's a great team player and has a knack for helping everyone feel included in a group. He makes friends easily. Sam reads incredibly fast, loves to write, and is great at math. Like Seth, he loves to play any sport, to read, and to play games. This past year we have discovered that he has quite a talent of making items out of paper and scotch tape for his stuffed animals (soccer cleats, hunting back packs, golf clubs, etc.). While all the boys are currently into making these paper creations, Sam really has a gift in making them. Perhaps a career designing shoes at Nike is in his future?
One thing that I want to remember about the twins at this age is how they have managed to maintain their innocence so well. For the past six months or so, their main hobby is playing "stuffed animals." Their stuffed animals are a vehicle for them to play any number of games: Harry Potter, sports arenas, going camping, a casino, golf tournaments, knights...you name, they'll play it. BUT, they play it in style, which means that they literally have drawers full of the clothes, shoes, and equipment that they have made their stuff animals using paper, scotch tape and crayons. They have made golf bags with clubs, full suits of armor, and hunting back packs. It's amazing.
Sports-wise, since we've been home, Sam and Seth have rarely played soccer (such a shift from playing it at least four times a week in Mexico). They are mostly into basketball, baseball and golf now. Ben had the insight to buy the boys clubs for this time of more isolation at home and the boys have made a golf course in the back yard, complete with hand-cut putting greens. They also enjoy shooting their bows and cannot wait to be able to hunt next year at twelve years old.
They've adjusted really well to the shift from life in Mexico to life in America. However, I feel like they have had a lot to process throughout these past four months. Not only did they have "the talk" with Ben, but we have also starting delving into more adult topics with them such as systematic racism, abortion and the political situation. They have taken it all in great stride and with many questions. They would have been entering into sixth grade at Scappoose grade school this fall, had Covid not hit, but instead we will be homeschooling them this year. While we are all disappointed that we won't be able to plug into a school community like we had envisioned, I look forward to having them at home with me for at least another year. I hope it will be a way to preserve their sweet innocence a little longer. We are praying that this is a great year of growth for them, and that we can continue having more of those tough, but formative conversations in the safety of our home.
