Reflections of 2.5 Years in Mexico

 

The fact that I never got around to doing a "Two Years in Mexico" post is reflective of that point in our tenure. It didn't feel important and necessary to document our thoughts and feelings, because really, we were just living normal life. Mexico was no longer new to us, and in reality more of our thoughts and our life were in Monterrey than in Portland. Our school, our church, our community, our restaurants are here...they are all normal and routine. 

I realize now that year two was indeed a sweet spot. Year one was all about transition: everything was new and hard. We longed for home in Portland. We hadn't built a world here in Mexico and we had only the beginnings of community. But, year two, was really, really wonderful. We felt settled and content; our minds were fully plugged in here. We became the more experienced expats: we knew the city and could make recommendations of so many things. We were so much more comfortable with the language barrier and could navigate the majority of situations with our growing Spanish skills. Not only had our language skills improved, but we were also are so much more confident in the many uncomfortable situations we frequently encounter as foreigners. In a weird way, Mexico had become normal to us. 

Now that we are in our final year here, we feel transition creeping up on us again. Many of our friends that were in Monterrey on two-year terms have left and it feels hard thinking of making new friends only to leave them within a year. Our hearts and minds teeter between longing and excitement to return to "home" in Oregon and dread and sadness of saying goodbye to "home" in Mexico. What a blessing and a privilege it is to have two places to love. 

There are moments where I long to move back because of the simplicity of a non-expat life. Truth be told: I'm tired...like deep down, bone weary tired. For the last three years (we found out about Mexico three years ago in September), we have all been stretched and pulled and changed and transitioned constantly. My brain is tired of the logistics of having two homes, traveling back and forth, and trying to remember what's in what house and where. I'm tired of having to rent or borrow a car when we visit Portland, of having a jam packed calendar of visits, of just not living normal.

But, at the same time, I wonder if we'll every be happy with normal again. Once we settle back into life in Portland, will it seem boring? Will we crave the excitement of international life? 

So, here we are, in the season of unknown again. We will probably transition back to Portland in the first half of 2020, but we still do not know what job Ben will transition into when he returns to Daimler Corporate in Portland. Therefore our return date, for now, is entirely up in the air.

Not having a set end date is hard. we wish we could tell the twins that they will be here for their 5th grade graduation ceremony, but we can't. Numerous times Josh has told me, "I don't want to have to go to a new school and make friends again." We are trying to stay in conversation with the boys about the impending transition and we're all trying to prepare our hearts. Sometimes I'm in awe of the fact that we have all gotten to the place where we're so happy in Mexico we wish we could stay just a little bit longer. What a sweet position to be in! If you would have asked all of us two years ago whether we could leave sooner rather than later, without a doubt we would have shouted, "Sooner!" and quickly packed our bags and ran for home. Now here we are, at two and a half years, trying to experience as much of Mexican life as we can before we leave. What a sweet, sweet gift. Another now famous in our family statement from Josh was: "I have so many tacos and friends that I'll have to say goodbye to..." Yes, Josh, we feel the same way: how we will miss the food and our friends!